Chanakya Niti mentions this
सर्वं परवशं दुःखं सर्वमात्मवशं सुखम् ।
एतद् विद्यात् समासेन लक्षणं सुखदुःखयोः ॥
Sarvaṁ paravaśaṁ duḥkhaṁ sarvamātma-vaśaṁ sukham |
Etad vidyāt samāsena lakṣaṇaṁ sukha-duḥkhayoḥ ||
This means that "Everything that is under another's control is sorrow; everything that is under one's own control is happiness. Let this be known in brief as the definition of happiness and sorrow."
When we rely on someone else to fill our voids, heal our old wounds, or validate our existence, this does not become love, this is where we place the heavy burden of our own completeness on another.
When you choose to love from a place of self-sufficiency, your relationship stops being a safety net and it becomes a launchpad for both of you built on freedom, mutual respect, and choice.
Love is a Choice, Not a Cure
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